KEN LOOMIS
342 Utah Street
San Francisco, CA 94103
(415) 864-3314
dnor@sirius.com
www.sirius.com/~dnor
Objective
A compromising position where my strengths in poetic legerdemain
and mass consumption will contribute to the overall success of a growth
oriented twenty-first century America.
Summary of Qualifications
Over twenty eight years experience in self-reflexion and popular culture criticism including
strengths in: personal relationship
annihilating; crossword puzzle solving; clear, yet elliptical, communication.
Related Skills
Familiarity with SOL/BS, Anxiety 95-97, QJ/WIN,
ABC/NBC, Magick.
Able to say some dirty words in Japanese.
Employment History
Mannlicher-Carcano Productions, San Francisco, CA 1994 - 1997
- ENTERTAINMENT SWAMI - (Team Member Level 3)
- Oversaw conception/virtualization of MAJOR Hollywood blockbuster.
- Acheived beginning/intermediate karmic balance.
- Negotiated to resolve low-staffing problems with production team.
- Trained/suckled extras in accordance with PETA guidelines.
- MISCHEIVOUS BOGEYMAN - (Team Member Level 2)
- Responsible for opening the Nihilist's cookbook on a daily basis.
- Investigated databases such as MS Reject, LNLY and NODialog to locate
specific documents.
- Initiated semi-covert campaign to eliminate the short vowel pronunciation of the dipthong "oo," thus cutting out dross and making words like "cook" (no pronounced like "kook") and "boogie" (the first syllable now pronounced like the exclamatory "Boo!") more fun to say.
- HUMAN SLAVE TAMER - (Team Member Level 1)
- Responsible for giving orders to wild and unruly corral of human slaves.
- Audited orders using a database to minimize errors and increase efficiency.
- Evaluated peers in a team environment.
PARKMERCED, INC., San Francisco, CA 1993 - 1994
- MINI-AMBASSADOR
- Performed diplomatic duties for several small Soviet Republics located in Apartment 1205.
- "Woke up this mornin' and I got myself a bee-yo [beer]".
- Formulated cold war simulations and juggled imaginary objects.
- Contacted clients and danced the monkey fandango.
EIKEN ACADEMY FUKUYAMA, CO., LTD., Fukuyama, Japan 1991 - 1993
Education
UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA SANTA CRUZ, Santa Cruz, CA (1991)
BA The History of Jan Wenner (Honors)
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